I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize