phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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