listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
