I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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