i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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