Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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