who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
