my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
