Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
