Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
