So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
