I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
