That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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