Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
