I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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