I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
