Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
