worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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