another moral hangover. fuck.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
