Where is the hickey?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
accomplished twins. life is a go
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
