dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
