Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize