But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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