I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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