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I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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