beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
