How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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