I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
