i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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