i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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