i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
