shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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