he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
