This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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