i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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