My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
