At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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