Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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