That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
