We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
