Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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