I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
