I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
are you so shy because you have an std?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
