Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
its not stalking. its research.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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