So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I FOUND THE LEGS
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
