Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
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