we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
