Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
