After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
