going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
