y did u give ur computer a hand job?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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