she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
