I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize