I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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