I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
