yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
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