You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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