If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
