Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
false alarm, still single
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
