How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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