i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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