is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
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I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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