new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
