Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
