you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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