ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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