Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
