her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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